admin 发表于 2016-12-16 12:33:25

【陆河客家笑话】爆笑方言

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1 有一夜,涯慈家去屙屎,哥么绝代,无拿到纸,看到墙角里有条竹棍,就想拿来刮下屎忽,奔涯刁!拿起来一看系条白花灰机甲,!吓倒涯裤都无着就搏命标。
2 一只乡下既客家农民,到城里一餐馆用餐。客家人不会说普通话,于是用客家话点餐。他用客家话对服务生说:“涯爱禄碗面。”不一会儿功夫,服务生一下子端来了6碗面。客户人一看傻眼了,嘟噜一下说:“疑以为挨系猪肚牛肚啊 ?”岂料说完不久,服务生又端来了一碗猪肚,牛肚。客家人有点不高兴,冲着服务生骂了一句“叼疑妈只北”。这回服务生很快端上来了一只鸡。客家人没撤了,自言自语说:“涯吃完就酒!”话音刚下,於是一瓶酒又给服务生端了上来了... ...

3 在一个凉爽的日神头,你拿张脚锄,捆等苯基,戴等笠麻,来到塘头背,锄田唇,...
4公社化时期,生产队“改树番薯”。劳动果实全部堆放在仓库门口,社员们排队等待分配。村里两个有名的“泼妇嫲”相聚在一起,就像斗红了眼睛的肮脏母牛,不知何故 又骂开了。足足骂了有半个时辰以后,两个人心里十分想把对方的风流艳史揭露出来给大家听,但又怕各自丑闻曝光的时候,难免有自贱其身之嫌,还会遭受“契哥” 的谴责和抛弃,实在是划不来。虽然话已到喉咙 ,十分难耐。也只得吞下肚。
就在双方都感到忍无可忍 欲吐不爽的尴尬时刻。A泼妇嫲突发奇招,从堆里捡起一条又直又长又大的木薯,丢到B泼妇嫲脚下 说:“隆入戏也。”B泼妇嫲也毫不示弱,从堆里挑了一条更大更长更直的木薯,丢到A泼妇嫲脚下 说:“隆入去也” 。
排队等待分配木薯的社员们,意外观赏到两个泼妇嫲的绝妙演技和超级幽默,个个都捧腹大笑不止,东倒西歪,现场一片混乱 “惨不忍睹”。连抓称杆掌握大权的生产队长也搞到神魂颠倒 精神分散。有人提醒他称错了斤两,他却连声说:“么相干 ,么相干......”
5:有一日鱼行阿街巷,看倒有堆屎,鱼用手指去即,"兼怕系屎",鱼又用鼻公去屁,"系屎摩差",最尾鱼用手指尾撩起滴来食,"一定系屎,好彩唔田踩倒"。

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